(continued…) Cavallo – “Men are born hunters. They love the chase and they love to win.” 12
The experts all agree that men are meant to be the chasers and women are emphatically advised to allow the man to do this. In fact, over and over again the message I have read is that to keep a man’s interest, he must be continually challenged to earn the woman’s love and respect. It is a complete waste of time and energy for a woman to work hard to please a man, thinking it will make him love her more, when in reality that is what drives him away. To keep her man, a woman must find new ways to make her man work for her love.
Another relationship book I found helpful is Steve Harvey’s, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. It is easy to read, and very enjoyable.
The following two statements were given by Harvey:
“A woman who genuinely wants to be in a committed relationship… must be able to understand what drives a man, what motivates him, and how he loves. If she does not understand these things, then she will be vulnerable to his deception and to the games that he plays.” 13
“The game a man plays is to do whatever it takes to get the woman he approaches to sleep with him.” 14
What can I say? Everybody knows these are true. To help a woman understand a man is the main reason for Cavallo and Harvey’s books referenced in this work.
“In short,” Cavallo admits, “men want a sex object and women want a success object.” 15
It is in a man’s DNA to make babies and assure the future of our species.
What do women want in a man?
Cavallo – “A woman wants a man who is educated, has ambition and wealth, is respected, has some kind of status, is tall and strong, dominant, assertive, has strong facial features and a good sense of humor (which shows intelligence, novelty, and flexibility), and willing to make a commitment.” 16
When I asked my women friends to tell me what they wanted in a man, they came up with quite a different list. Here is our list: he must be kind, caring, honest, understanding, thoughtful, clean, handy, old-fashioned, a gentleman, and a good dresser.
Cavallo – “A man will never be able to love a woman like she wants him to love her.” 16 “A man loves differently than a woman does. A man wants respect and to him love is respect.” 17
A man shows that he loves a woman by providing for her, protecting her, and doing things for her. A woman needs to learn how to recognize the signs that he loves her. She needs to notice what he does and understand that he is doing it for her. He is showing her he loves her when he offers to help her. A woman needs to allow a man to help her when he offers.
Can you let (allow) a man help you? Do you step aside when he offers to do something for you and let him do it? It will improve your relationship when you do this.
Cavallo – “A man wants to make a woman happy and if he thinks he cannot make her happy then he will leave her alone.” 18
I was surprised to hear Carlos say this but I have am now convinced that this is definitely true. ~
Cavallo says that it is important to let the man be the first to say the words, “I love you”. If the woman says it first she is making a big mistake, one that will immediately cause him to pull away from her. 19
Cavallo gives a solution to this dilemma, but I am going to leave you hanging here. To find out what he suggests she do instead… read my book. Thanks for reading these posts.