Book released December 19, 2018, “Learning to Dance in the Rain – Dealing with Grief, Moving On and Online Dating” by Shelby Wagner,  author.

Although the phrase, “Learning to Dance in the Rain,” is not original, it is an appropriate metaphor  summarizing my activities during my journey of grief following the sudden death of my husband in 2016.  This tragic event catapulted me into a period of extreme sadness and emotional pain, and changed my life forever.

My husband and I had been planning a party to celebrate  our fiftieth wedding anniversary. Instead I was thrust into planning a funeral for him. In the blink of an eye, I was no longer part of a couple, I had become a single lady of 75 and a grieving widow faced with innumerable decisions which had to be made immediately, and more to come in the days and weeks ahead.

Have you heard of the Widowhood Effect? This is the phenomenon in which many surviving spouses also die within three to six months after the first. Statistics show that a surviving spouse has a 55% increase of dying within 3 – 6 months. Dealing with the death of a spouse is extremely stressful, even devastating and one of the top five most difficult periods in one’s life.  People need to know that grieving is not a disease, but it is a time of extreme stress, sadness, grief and pain, a time of survival.

My period of grieving was not free from mistakes. Forewarned about scammers on dating websites, I thought I was smart enough to avoid them, but I wasn’t. One of the men (I think it was a man, it’s hard to know who is on the other side of a written conversation), I was chatting with on the website found my weak spot and conned me into sending him some money to help him when a terrible tragedy occurred. He promised to return the money, but the State Police Officer who handled my case said I would never see it again and I haven’t. Anyway, I was inspired to tell my story so that others could avoid being scammed. Naively, I thought that if no one sent money to a scammer, then the business would not be profitable and that would end this criminal activity. In theory, it sounds good, but I need all of you who read this to share the information with friends and relatives, I need your help in getting the word out.

I am trying. Please go to the following websites and buy a copy for yourself or your friend who is lonely and at risk, and please write a review of the book, if you think it is worthy.




or order it from your favorite bookstore.

This page was last updated on May 18, 2020