Cavallo – “Men want to be appreciated.” 10
Cavallo states that most men do not receive praise as women do. Even as children, boys are more likely to be considered “trouble-makers,” and are told to “suck it up,” “be a man,” and “don’t cry.” While girls are told often how “cute they are”; or “you did a good job, honey”; etc. He also advises that a woman needs to tell her man that she appreciates him and the things he does for her. However, he cautions that she must be truthful in her praise because he knows when he is lacking in this department and her appreciation will be labeled “false”.
I definitely agree with Cavallo on the above statement, but I want to add that women also want to be appreciated. Too many women will work harder and harder thinking they will win his love and appreciation by working harder and longer when in reality he may notice that she is over-working herself, but he mistakenly assumes she is doing it to please herself and not to please him.
The other day one of my friends was telling me about her deceased husband and she mentioned that he often would tell her to leave whatever she was doing and come sit down with him. That sparked a memory of my husband who would quite often say something similar. I would always be hurrying up to finish whatever I was working on and say, “if I don’t get this done, it will never get done” and continue what I was doing. Once I joined him on the deck without him requesting it, and he said surprised, “You mean you are actually going to sit down with me for a few minutes?’
At the time I didn’t know why he was so surprised, but now I know it was an important time for us to be alone, just to chat and spend some alone time together which is what he wanted. I had unknowingly given priority to all the other, unimportant things instead of giving my time to my beloved. What was wrong with me? Nothing, I was just being a woman! Sad!