“Men are not wired to think about two or more things at the same time and are unable to multi-task.” 3
I never realized that most men simply do not have the ability to multi-task as women do… I guess I just never thought about it since multi-tasking is second nature to me. I do it all the time. Cavallo suggests that understanding this one concept will allow a woman to plan ahead so she will avoid interrupting him when he is thinking about something else, he simply cannot change what he is thinking about as quickly as a woman can. Instead, just knowing that he needs time to process the changes, will allow a woman to be more patient with him.
My pastor the other day had a sermon about relationships and used the analogy, “Men Are Like Waffles and Women Are Like Spaghetti.” This analogy describes men as waffles because men are compartmentalized. Their thought patterns are similar to having a plate full of several different foods (potato, meat, carrot, etc.), and they would eat one food group (ex. potato) until it was gone and then move on to the next (meat) food and eat that., etc. Women, however, have everything all mixed up together in their brains. Using the plate of food as an example, a woman would put a little of each food group in her mouth at one time, savoring everything all at once. (“Men Are Like Waffles — Women Are Like Spaghetti” is a 2001 book written by Bill and Pam Farrell, co-directors and founders of relationship counseling organization Masterful Living.)
Cavallo suggests that if a woman understands this concept of a man, she could schedule her “want to talk times” at a pre-determined and convenient time for him. Examples of bad times for a woman to attempt a conversation with a man include the following: • when is watching the news or a sports event, • whenever he is reading, and • whenever he has just gotten home. 4
In regards to the last phrase above, a man absolutely needs some alone time when he first gets home from work to adjust to the huge change from one environment and tasks at work, to being home and able to focus on his family life, his wife and his kids. This alone time and activity could include: reading the newspaper; chilling out in front of the tv; reading a book; taking a quick nap. Biven this time alone will make a lot of difference in his attitude and well-being. for the rest of the evening. Then he will be able to start communicating and playing with the children. Note: the chill-out time cannot be during his commute to and from work.
About women – they have the innate ability to multi-task and it is this quality that enables them to monitor the kids’ activities, fix dinner, converse with another adult, etc. all at the same time.